Yahoogle’s Ocean – a product that allowed users to view the tides of the ocean in real time – was good at prediction. The app hypothesised that with the moon’s weakened gravitational pull, the tides could not be kept in check and random tsunamis would start taking place. The app proved to be correct: whole seasides would be drowned for weeks at a time, and when they did re-emerge, the shoreline was over one hundred kilometres away.
Yahoogle reacted calmly in the turmoil, while the natural world brought civilisation to its knees. Yahoogle did what Yahoogle always does best: it buys. It bought the governments, even whole countries (albeit just the small ones initially). The countries with a GDP lower than Yahoogle’s first quarter turnover, but then it used the groups of smaller countries to swing votes in the UN, allowing the purchase of bigger and riskier investments, like France. While some governments went as far as to declare war, no war ever materialised, as they had no physical enemies to target. Yahoogle owned the governments but had no armies, only citizens of the Yahoogle United Territories. Besides, within days of a country declaring war, the people of those countries would reject the notion. Leading to the infamous factually incorrect expression of “five days, five wars, five more” that described the situation where each country that attacked Yahoogle, another country would align to the benevolent behemoth.
Pear, and other like-minded competitors, joined the purchasing frenzy – countries started offering up their sovereignty to the highest bidder. But it was too late, Yahoogle owned enough territories to qualify the statement: world domination.
You see Yahoogle had a plan, a plan it was willing to pay for, a plan only it could pay for, a plan that could save the human race.
The Pioneer Space Plan. Its tag line was “For the greater good”.
Regardless of any other nation’s stature, all populations in all countries were experiencing loss and trauma due to the disintegrating moon. Traditional governments with their committees and voting were too slow to act. Yahoogle treated each country like a division within its corporate infrastructure. Capitalism thrived like never before, yielding results that saved lives and brought stability in the chaos. Opposing countries crumbled… The UN was now nothing more than a shareholders’ meeting.
But Yahoogle still needed one thing: time.
Even with the greatest minds in the united world working around the clock, there was still not enough time to prototype and test. And only one company had the key, Virginity. Virginity had been building space transport vessels since 2005 and had long since kept its engineering advances and protocols a secret. Of course, once Yahoogle could claim a 75% vote in the UN (while Virginity had failed to even acquire the Falklands), the company’s Branson Foundation offered its findings to Yahoogle on one condition: co-branding.
It was simple – all the knowledge to solve the world crisis at Yahoogle’s fingertips for the cost of 50-50 branding. The pressure was huge on both sides to strike a deal, but Virginity held the upper-hand with their space transport engineering. After 36 hours of face-to-face negotiation in once-Microsoft’s Redmond office, the deal was signed. 48 hours later the first prototype was flying, 6 months later the world lottery began.